


Four Fifths

by orphan_account



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M, Underage Drinking, [ssssst im drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 12:25:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4835267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killua gets drunk for the first time, which is no small feat considering his immunity to poisons.<br/>Ridiculous bullshit ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Fifths

**Author's Note:**

> I was drunk and I wanted to write about other people being drunk.  
> Sorry in advance.  
> Oh also, full disclosure, I have no idea how electricity works so just keep that in mind.

Amber liquid sloshing into the fancy crystal tumbler poised between his long pale fingers, Killua finally let his eyes slide shut. He leaned against the cool ceramic tub, arm resting on the toilet seat. The stark contrast between the fancy glass in his hands and the act of drinking himself silly in a hotel bathroom made him giggle. He forewent the glass and took a swig straight from the bottle like the classy guy he knew he was. 

The best things in this world are brown, he decided to himself. Chocolate, whiskey. It's funny, really. It took Killua some time to grow accustomed to the bite of alcohol, the lingering sting as it slid down his throat. It didn't feel unpleasant, per say… He had certainly endured worse. His incredibly high tolerance never permitted him to feel more than a slight happy buzz, anyway. Now that he had become acquainted with the drink, though, they'd become fast friends. Maybe he'd actually manage to get a little tipsy this time.

He liked how things seemed softer around the edges, how everything emitted a sort of warm light. It reminded him of… never mind. Killua wouldn't let himself think about that guy. Licking his lips, head swimming pleasantly, he was certainly not thinking about Gon Freecss. His head wasn't swimming, really… More like treading water. (Treading whiskey?) But that doesn't lend itself well to metaphor. He distracted himself, fiddling with the cap from the fourth fifth of the evening. 

It'd been three years and he hadn't seen hide nor hair of the guy since the day they parted at the World Tree. Gon was probably traveling the world with his father in tow. Maybe he was back home on Whale Island, catching fish that Mito would cook for dinner. Wherever he was, his life didn't include Killua. He probably never even spared him a passing thought. But that was okay.

It was fine. 

He took another hearty swig.

By all accounts, Killua should have been writhing around on the tile floor dying of alcohol poisoning at that point. Laughing to himself, he mused that if he should be grateful to his upbringing for any one thing, it was his immunity to poisons. Otherwise, he probably never would've found his interest in alcohol in the first place. Killua was definitely not a cheap date. He couldn't help but laugh at the thought of himself on a date. His mind wandering, he wondered whether Gon had been on any dates since Palm?

It hardly mattered.

It crossed Killua's mind that Alluka would be back soon. He somehow couldn't find the wherewithal to care. Wiping at his eyes, Killua recounted the years of working up to immunity. Ingesting various poisons in incremental doses. Lying abandoned on the forest floor, insides crawling up his throat, forced to drag his own limp body over moss-covered ground back to the manor. Paralytic limbs trailing along… Ha! The irony was delicious. Oh, that he was now working so hard to break down his family's carefully constructed protections. 

At some point, he had found his way into the bathtub. He was now lying on his side, doubled over in hysterics, completely unable to contain his manic laughter. _Why was everything so funny?_  He reached over the lip of the tub, fingers outstretched in pursuit of his new best friend, Mr. Jack Daniels.

With a flourish, Killua downed the remaining contents of the bottle. He was glad for his determination, then. For a while, Killua had been certain that he'd never be able to experience the joys of alcohol. As usual, simple curiosity had turned into a full-fledged challenge. All it took was hard work, perseverance, and nearly a gallon of liquor. The payoff was inconsequential, but it sure was fun getting there. This new hobby was definitely an expensive one, though not so expensive that the expenditure was noticed. He and Alluka were still burning their way through his winnings from Heaven's Arena. A dip into the Zoldyck trust was hardly necessary. 

Stretching until his back made a satisfying cracking sound, Killua decided it was time to rid the bathroom of evidence. He chanced a glimpse at the wall clock. (Who the hell hangs a clock in the bathroom, anyway?) The little hand was pointing toward the 8 and the big one had just glanced past the 9. He had about fifteen minutes until Alluka was due to return. He was anxious. Tonight was the longest they had spent apart in the three years they'd been traveling together. Alluka insisted that she'd be fine on her own, that her Nen was strong enough to defend herself. She'd refused to let him tag along. He'd been adamant on setting a curfew, though. Of course, he couldn't control whether she'd actually abide by it. He'd contemplated following her, but decided against it in the end, not wanting to face his little sisters wrath. (He'd even picked out a stalking hat for the occasion. Deja vu.) Anyway, he knew she could handle herself. She'd grown incredibly strong in their time together. When the ding of the elevator startled him from his reverie, Killua realized he'd just wasted 7 minutes standing around beaming with pride at his sister's ability.

Making haste, he quickly snapped the necks off of the bottles and put the pieces into the wastepaper basket sitting next to the toilet. He didn't have time to dispose of the bottles like a normal person. Positioning his hands on either side of the bin, he watched as hundreds of little strands of electricity danced and sparked about the surface of the very conductive metal. The idea was to heat it to extreme temperatures… sort of like a makeshift crucible. Killua needed to find the sweet spot between the melting point of the glass and the metal. After a few seconds, the glass began to soften, glowing with the heat. When it became a molten pile of orange goop, he eased up. He overturned the fancy tumbler full of water he had set aside earlier and watched the glass fade back to brown as vapor billowed around him. The wastebasket had about two inches of solid glass at its bottom now, but it wasn't all that noticeable after Killua threw some tissues and junk in. Good enough. 

He could faintly hear two ( _two_???) sets of footsteps padding down the hall. Killua felt a rush of panic. Who could Alluka possibly have brought with her? He'd warned her not to tell anyone where they were staying. Praying that his sister hadn't brought home a serial killer or worse, Killua hurriedly pushed the basket back towards the toilet... Exposing an unsightly burn that was definitely his doing. He smacked himself on the forehead. _Stupid!_ Okay, no biggie, he'd just cover it up.

He could hear the footsteps getting closer. In a fit of desperation, Killua pushed the bath mat to the opposite side of the floor. Voila! Like nothing ever happened. 

Emboldened by his seemingly infallible problem-solving skills (and apparent state of inebriation), he felt unstoppable! No way would Alluka or her friend be the wiser. 

It was then that the door creaked open and in poured a cheerful "Nii-chan, I'm home!" 

Killua stood abruptly and his vision got more than a little wobbly. Oh boy. He slowly sat back down on the edge of the tub.

"Nii-chan, where are you? I brought a friend!" she singsonged in a mischievous voice.

"Uhhh I'll be out in a second, Alluka! I'm taking a dump."

 _Holy shit, seriously? Why did I say that? Am I drunk? Oh my god._ He halfheartedly smacked his palm to his forehead again. _Okay, Killua Zoldyck. You have overcome a hell of a lot worse than this. You've got this! You're totally in control of all of your mental faculties. Just stand up, open that door, and greet (and/or maim) your sister's new friend._

Killua forced his body to obey his thoughts, rising to his feet slowly this time. There was no time to check his reflection or splash his face with water. Alluka could be in danger! He put on the straightest face he could manage and burst out the door into the main living space.

Killua's brain didn't register what he was seeing at first. It took approximately a minute and a half for him to recognize the tan, muscled… man standing next to his sister. 

"Hi, Killua! Long time no see!"

Killua's jaw went slack with the realization. His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. He looked… so different. Yet somehow, exactly the same. His hair still stood in tall, anomalous spikes, and his wide brown eyes were still brimming with life. He stood at about Alluka's height, but regardless of his short stature, he had definitely... filled out. His biceps were fit to busting out of his jacket. Killua felt color spring to his cheeks. 

"Killua, are you okay? You don't look so good."

Running entirely on liquid courage, Killua strode up to the boy he hadn't seen in three years. The boy he had vowed to protect. The boy he would've followed to the moon and back. Killua fisted his hand in the collar of Gon's too-tight shirt. Their faces were mere inches away from each other. Killua felt his breath catch in his throat, but he ignored it. He slowly brought up his other hand, and... 

...punched Gon with all of his strength, right in his dumb concerned face.

"I think I'm okay now." Killua said, feigning satisfaction as Gon's form hit the opposite end of the room, a web of cracks forming in the drywall.

Alluka looked on, completely baffled, unsure of whether she should intervene. 

"You definitely don't smell okay", Gon responded, confusion written all over his face, wrinkling his nose. "That wasn't even a dig at you, Killua… Why do you smell like a distillery?"

Killua forced himself to look Gon in the eyes. He soaked in the deep, rich, familiar brown. Brown like wet earth, like chocolate and whiskey. Brown like Gon. 

His knees went wobbly and before he could catch himself, the words were out. "Because you left." 

Killua felt tears threatening to leak out of the corners of his eyes. 

The edges of his vision were tingling and static, and his head felt like it had been stuffed full of cotton. Killua felt confused, and absolutely pathetic. He never would have admitted his feelings sober. He'd known on some level that drinking wasn't simply a challenge, or just some way to pass the time, but he wasn't supposed to say it out loud. He'd been drinking to forget. After three years, his memories were as clear as ever. Smiling face, smiling eyes. And now Gon was standing right in front of him, all grown up. The right way, this time. This wasn't the Gon from then. He wished he could shroud those memories in darkness, those final moments. The unfathomable light flooding the forest accompanied by the loudest silence imaginable. Crimson soaked bandages and swathes of gauze that never ran dry no matter how many times they were replaced. A decrepit hand peaking out from under stark white hospital-issue sheets. 

Killua tried to force his tear ducts shut. Gon might've been able to do it with sheer willpower, but Killua was helpless to stop it when the dam finally broke. 

Alluka rushed to his side before she realized she ought to leave the boys to figure things out on their own. It hurt her a bit to realize that she wasn't the one who would pull Killua out of this. She nodded at Gon before exiting out into the hallway, closing the door with a deep breath. She'd been prepared for this already, of course.

\--

Gon walked toward Killua cautiously, not knowing how to handle the situation unfolding before him. Alluka gave him a knowing nod before leaving the room, as if passing him the baton. 

Quite frankly, Gon was completely lost. 

He'd expected amicable conversation, maybe a little awkwardness at first. He'd prepared himself for the possibility that they might not click right away. But this… he'd been welcomed with a punch to the face and now Killua was reduced to a puddle of tears. Gon didn't want his friend to be sad, but he thought maybe his consolation would be unwelcome. Would it be better to let Killua cry himself out, alone? It might be, but… Gon missed Killua. Gon had missed Killua's presence so much and now that he was here, in the same room as him, he had no idea how to act. This was definitely an unusual feeling for him. Usually he was bursting with impulse. 

Gon stopped thinking and just did what felt natural to him. He sat beside the crying boy and enveloped him in his arms. It was a funny thing… In all their time spent together, they'd never once hugged. They'd faced off against a notorious band of thieves, cleared an impossible video game, and slaughtered a race of voracious human-eating insects… but they'd never hugged. 

It was nice, touching. Killua was warm and even though he was tall and lanky while Gon was short and stocky, they fit well together.

Killua went limp in Gon's arms, like a huge burden had been lifted off of him. His hands found purchase in the back of Gon's shirt, his fingers clutching the fabric like he was afraid the other boy would disappear. 

"Ne, Killua… My face really hurts."

"Good. You're lucky you still have a face."

Gon felt Killua burrow deeper into the embrace at that. He was surprised that Killua wasn't struggling to get away. Gon rested his chin atop the snowy downy fluff that was Killua's hair and sighed deeply. 

"Can you explain to me what just happened? What are you thinking in there, Killua?"

Gon's question was met with silence. Killua's breathing was finally starting to even out, though. He felt the boy's fingers tightening at his back before going slack.

"It's not fair, Gon. How can you be so entitled and selfish? How can you think I would just welcome you back with open arms after not hearing so much as a peep from you for three years?"

His hands tightened back into fists again.

"I want to be angry with you, Gon. Why can't I be angry? Any normal person would be furious. How can you just waltz back into my life unannounced and hug me like this? Like we never spent a day apart. After what you said. After you died, Gon. After you left me." he mumbled the last part into Gon's shirt, barely audible. If it weren't for Gon's superhuman hearing, he probably would've missed half of the words.

There was no fight in Killua's voice. He just sounded tired. 

"I'm angry with you too, you know."

Killua's body went rigid at that.

"Is this how you've been taking care of yourself? You're worrying Alluka sick. This isn't like you at all, Killua."

Killua started to pull away, but Gon restricted his arms so that he couldn't get free.

"And don't forget, you left me too. You left me at the World Tree just as much as I left you. I wanted you to be by my side when I first met Ging. You were going to be the first person I introduced him to. And you were there, just not in person. You were always with me, Killua."

"That's bullshit. Don't feed me that crap now. It's too late, alright? It's too late. Why didn't you ask me to come with you then?"

A pause.

"You think I could've asked you to leave Alluka?"

Killua scoffed. 

"You've done more selfish things before. If you'd wanted me to come, you would have asked. Gon always does exactly what he wants. You're the one who charges ahead, and I'm the one who cleans up your mess, remember?"

Gon had no idea how to respond to that. 

"Alluka needed you, and you needed her. She made you far happier than I could. The look on your face when she was around was enough to prove that. I know you would've chosen her over me any day of the week, Killua. And that's okay. You couldn't leave her. You were the only person she had in the whole world."

Killua stopped struggling again, falling back onto Gon's chest. 

"Are you really here?"

Gon pinched the inside of his elbow, pretending to check.

"I'm pretty sure."

"You're not just a figment of my imagination?"

"Eh? Killua spends that much time thinking about me?"

Gon could only see the top of Killua's head and the tips of his ears from his vantage point, but every observable speck of skin was now flushed a vibrant red. Even Killua's scalp was flushing.

Gon tried to extricate the boy from his chest so he could get a look at his face, but Killua resisted. 

"I'll shock you."

\--

After a few minutes, Killua pulled away of his own accord. When he noticed the stain he'd left on Gon's shirt, a mess of snot and tears, he nearly fainted on the spot. Pride stopped him from apologizing, and a funny kind of bitterness stopped him from pointing it out. A snot stain was his penance. He decided Gon would notice sooner or later, anyway.

Apparently he noticed it sooner rather than later. When Killua turned his attention back to Gon, he was topless.

"Do you have a clean shirt I can borrow? Since you ruined mine."

Drunk Killua couldn't help his wandering gaze. Drunk Killua wanted to say that _no, he'd actually recently thrown away every last shirt in his possession, unfortunately_. He ogled Gon without any hint of self restraint. His back was tan and toned, the hills and valleys of his smooth skin pulled taut over muscle, arching downwards toward… Fuck. 

Of course Gon was completely oblivious to the effect he was having on Killua, which just made it worse. 

"Why are you so red, Killua?"

He answered with a series of unintelligible gurgles and buried his face in his hands. Killua was incredibly frustrated at himself and his emotional volatility. He wasn't even sure if he could attribute his fickle feelings to the booze or not. He just wanted to lie down for awhile. Minutes ago, he was ready to rip Gon's head from his shoulders, and now he… was all mixed up inside.

"Uh, I'm going to get you a shirt now." He said intelligently.

Killua sought out the biggest, most fabric-laden turtleneck in his wardrobe. There was absolutely no way Gon would look anything but frumpy in that thing. Downright prudish, if anything!

When Gon slipped the garment over his spiky head, Killua couldn't help but feel a sense of loss. He bid a silent goodbye to each of Gon's pecs. What he wasn't expecting, though, was the overwhelming tightness in his chest at the sight of Gon wearing his clothes. For the second time that night, Killua threw caution to the wind and let his body run on autopilot.

He sat on the bed and beckoned Gon to sit next to him with a raised eyebrow.

"You look ridiculous"

"You think so? It smells just like Killua, so I don't mind!" Gon pinched the fabric in between his fingers and inhaled deeply.

"Idiot! Don't smell my clothes!"

Before he could even register what he was doing, Killua was brushing the back of his hand against Gon's calloused knuckles. He twined his fingers in the spaces between the other boy's, and he was thankful when Gon didn't mention it, but simply returned the contact. He squeezed tightly. Pink nail beds, tiny white crescents like moons making shallow impressions in soft brown skin. They stayed that way for a moment. Just holding hands and making steady eye contact. 

It was mutually understood that they weren't fixed. They definitely weren't back to normal, whatever normal was. Their relationship was not repaired, and it might never be, completely. They were hanging in a weird sort of limbo but it felt okay then. It felt like rather than worrying about fixing the past, the right thing to do was focus on the present. Neither would excuse the other's actions. They still had things to talk about. But honestly, Killua'd had enough emotional catharsis for one night. He just wanted to soak up Gon's presence and revel in the fact that he was really here. He would worry about his feelings later.

\--

Alluka made her way back to the hotel room at around 1 in the morning, figuring she had given the boys enough time to sort themselves out. In her hands she carried a tray of three steaming hot cocoas procured from the hotel kitchen. (They had technically closed up for the night, but Alluka had a way with people.) 

When she opened the door, she had to stifle her giggle with the back of her hand. On the bed were two boys lying across each other in a jumble of limbs, snoring loudly enough to rattle the dresser drawers. She set the cocoa down on the nightstand and sighed dramatically. 

All in a day's work.

**Author's Note:**

> It's cute now, but wait until tomorrow morning's hangover.


End file.
